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Underground conspiracy



During the recent rail strike, I sat on a sunny station platform—well, until the silly stationmistress ticked me off and said I needed to move on because she was impressed by the girth of my spread legs—and finished off some work. A woman with an ambulatory child, probably about seven, walked past me. “Why are there no trains?” “Because there’s a strike. They’re not working.” “Because they’re naughty.” Exactly. You have to be a bit careful with “the wisdom of children” because the phrase can be used to make all manner of sentimental and manipulative points—however, this was the genuine article. Why were there no trains? Because the train drivers were being naughty. The mother shot back with a “teachable moment” about the sophisticated adult world, about what a strike is. Yet the child was still right. Answer: “Naughty”.


The British economy is London—especially the City of London; and London relies on the tube to function; ergo, paralyse the tube, paralyse the British economy—so the tube is the most important infrastructure in Britain. This is why the RMT union is so powerful—it can paralyse the national economy, cost billions of pounds per day; and so basically it has Britain, whatever government is in power, by the balls. While other trade unions have shrunk away to insignificance, the RMT remains a powerhouse—their power does not rely on cover from pro-union legislation, their power is baked into London’s infrastructure. This is why tube drivers are paid ridiculously well—they hold almost all the cards.


Now, they do a job that could have been automated at least forty years ago. Their jobs are superfluous—they are parasites. Thatcher knew this was so, and that is why when they built the DLR around Canary Wharf (itself a City extension) they had it fully automated. You can walk to the front of the little space-age cabins and where there is meant to be a driver there is just empty space—just a joystick as a manual backup in case it all goes HAL-9000. The DLR is an elevated light railway that is rather like those shuttles you find at airports or at Disney Epcot; it feels futuristic, even though it is almost forty years old. No drivers, no unions—and the computers are not clever enough to have the government by the balls.


The RMT is never going to let the government make the slightest move to automate the tube—if they did, they would just shut it down; and so you do not need to compel a tube worker to join the union—no closed-shop pressure required, the benefits are obvious. So the RMT holds us back; it diverts cash, time, and energy that could be used to make life better into the pockets of its members—even though they do jobs that are pointless. “Mate, mate, see thing is you need a ‘ighly qualified driver for ‘ealth and safety, mate.” “Mummy, the man is being naughty again…”


When we talk about conspiracies, this is what we mean: the RMT is just the most obvious conspiracy—an open conspiracy that everyone can see if they think about it for a moment. It is easy to see because the tube is easy to see. Now consider that there are many other rackets—in finance, academia, medicine, and physics—that are not so obvious; plenty of “unions” that are informal clubs. These “unions” form around various societal chokepoints—the non-physical equivalents to the tube—and then squeeze cash and status through blackmail.


What is the cause? Greed, yes; and fear—fear that you are not that important or, if made redundant, could not get another job. Above all, pride; the blow to the ego from the realisation that a computer is more important than you—hence you would much prefer to hold everything and everyone back than allow development. There are many such conspiracies in our world—hence why everything is so ugly and regressive.





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