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Class-action lawsuit

You murdered me but I still stand—now I would like to indict my parents for a crime, they had sex. It’s their fault, I submit, that I stand here dead and alive. The charge is that you brought me into a world where nobody knows what to do, just pretend so—that they only know they were born and will surely die, alone; and in the interim play games—cruel, unusual—to distract themselves from the issue. I say it is a conspiracy, a vast one, that goes back centuries.

You want to bring charges against the human race? Yes, it’s a class-action lawsuit—there are many injured parties. I think you’ll find you confuse the civil and criminal law. It’s no issue—I serve the real one. In that case we find in your favour, award you one penny damages—it’s purely symbolic, you understand.


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