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The campaign to promote large bottoms to the general public through the media is an attempt to Africanise Western society, since black Africans prefer the bottom—it goes back as far as Freddie Mercury’s ‘Fat-Bottomed Girls’, which has lyrics that condemn blue-eyed girls (with blonde hair and flat bottoms).

The secondary, occult, goal is to promote anal sex—to promote the homosexual predilection, because it’s sterile and centred around the bum.

The breast, the nourishing mother breast, has been disprivileged—just look Sydney Sweeney’s enormous knockers, wouldn’t they be great for breast-feeding (insert emoticon licking its lips to catch all the delectable milky)?

The only answer to the current situation is a return to traditional underpants—namely, y-fronts (which, per The Daily Star, make you a better lover—and you should always trust the stars).


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