(74) Bianco

I picked up The 1001 Nights and read the prologue: a sheikh returns to his palace early and finds his wife in the arms of the black cook; he is so distraught that he rides away, stays with his brother, falls ill, and refuses to say what the problem is (can relate); while he mopes about, he notices his sister-in-law from a higher window: she enters a shady oasis and beckons an ugly black down from a tree—he proceeds to mount her and her white slaves (these being Circassians). This cheers the sheikh up, for this event—what can only be described in modern parlance as an “interracial gangbang”—takes place every day. “Verily,” quoth he, “I am more fortunate than my brother.” After all, he was only cuckolded once, not every day.

The two brothers share their mutual woes and set out into the desert: “By Allah,” they cry, “will we ever find a faithful woman in this curs’d world? If not, then by the beard of the Prophet, we shall wander the earth forever.” They pitch up at an oasis, where they discover a jinn boffing a pale girl—more Circassian sex action—and the genie, unlike avuncular Robin Williams, offers the brothers many “neat girl tricks”. The first sheikh decides to acquire a new virgin bride every night and then kill her afterwards—a “no whore” guarantee. And so begin the 1001 nights, for the clever and attractive daughter of the sheikh’s chief wazir decides to save her life by telling the sheikh story after story after story…

Very sexy; and this is hilarious because earlier I had read some post-Marxist who said that Arab Muslim sensuality was a “Eurocentric Orientalist” creation. Really, it was interracial gangbangs all the way, with white slave girls the daintiest treats; and, contrary to the view Islam is racially egalitarian, the blacks were disdained (I toned down their descriptions from the original). Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to rub my lamp…