(294) Perroquet

Naturally, I suffer from the delusion that I could save Prince Harry—that’s my narcissistic delusion (I also believe I can save the whole world—it’s unlikely I can even save myself). It’s marginal that I could even lay the facts before him; and that’s Harry’s problem, in part—people are over-awed because it’s “the Prince” and so they can’t speak directly. I pretty much say what I think and feel in all circumstances but even with Harry I’d probably get over-awed and deferential. Besides, it’s not sufficient to lay the facts before Harry; just like it’s no good to say, “You’re a selfish arse, Harry—pull your socks up and get on with it.” People have basically tried that with him, but because he’s narcissistic that’s just more humiliation—and it’s the humiliation he’s been trying to escape all his life; so the more you barrack him, tell him to do his dooty and so on, the more sullen resentment you’ll get—the more victimhood.

It’s like flirtation, friendships, job interviews—these things don’t come (except rare exceptions) from frontal attack; it has to be sidled up to, everything works out by serendipity—it’s all almost a happy accident. It’s the same with Harry and his narcissism, to get someone to realise that they’re draped in narcissism you have to sidle up to them—it’s what therapists do; they give the client a space to work it out for themselves. It’s not like a pill—you can’t just say “well, here are the facts about yourself; now act on them”. If Harry read my article he’d half enjoy it (a lot, too much)—but it would also cause him immense pain; and that would lead to repression, denial, projection.

You have to draw the poison off, like when you rub a balloon against yourself to generate a static charge—it’s actually a true education, because it’s a leading up and out so that what is within can develop to its full potential.