(195) Černá ovce

I have been in a battle with the local gypsy who sells The Big Issue outside Sainsbury’s supermarket for years. She knows I don’t like her and she mutters vague threats at me as I pass—curses, no doubt. It’s all a scam, the gypsies sell The Big Issue but then are picked up at the day’s end by a huge luxury car (“help the homeless”). Anyway, I finally found a way to defeat her: I make the sign of the horns at her when she’s not looking and the curses disappear; she just says, “Hello.”

In other esoteric news, I’ve noticed that I definitely have a circle that rotates before me in my vision—particularly apparent when I look in mirrors; it’s translucent. It’s connected to Hartsfell. The night after that happened, I sat in a hotel room and noticed in the mirror that my eyes both glowed with this reddish-electrical colour; essentially, a colour and texture similar to the gods, the star-entities. That died down after a while, but I still notice it from time to time.

What happens is that if I close my eyes I can see two separate eyes, two red electrical balls before me; and then these will resolve, if I have my eyes closed, into the rotating circle. So there’s a relation there. On one occasion, I threw my body around and had some intense religious thoughts with my eyes closed and I managed to manifest a blue electrical ball instead. My vision was not like this before. It’s almost as if the star creatures, some fragment from them, are “in me”—as if I took a shard from them (funnily, in a detail I forgot to relate before, when I looked at the mirror in the hotel room I had just turned on the TV to the film Gods of Egypt—it seems like synchronicity). The Anglo-Saxon kings legislated against star-worship and the Ancient Egyptians worshipped stars—it must be the primordial religion, in fragments.